October marks a year single!

Hello, hope you are all well! This is my first October blog post. In fact, I haven’t posted in just under a month. For the past 3 weeks, I haven’t been well. Initially I had norovirus and had to go home. Once my virus had cleared up, I was just left with a horrible cold. I am now just left with an annoying dry cough and the occasional snotty nose (why the fuck am I writing about snot?). So yes, for almost a month I haven’t been able to do much…I’ve only just started snorting wine again. I have also set some posts to private as I am a bit paranoid that certain people may find them and discover that I am running this blog. I also don’t think they’re that great. So, my blog is a bit bare right now. Hopefully I will start posting a lot more.

At this very moment, I should be writing about, the key economic and political events during 1900-1946 but y’know priorities. Plus, I am really not in the fucking mood as I currently have my hormone monster with me (if you don’t watch Big Mouth you really should – it’s on Netflix and it makes me HOWL. It is so fucking stupid) so I am PMS’ing like a bitch. Anyway, enough rambling, (this is probably going to be a ramble-y post and all over the place) today I want to talk about what I have learned during my single year; here we go!

So for those of you who follow me and read my previous blog posts, you might recall that I was head over heels with my ex and went through a very hard time mentally during the break up. For those of you who don’t, I will de-privatise the now unavailable posts soon and I will probably write about it again but basically, I was a complete mess and he wasn’t very kind to me in the aftermath. It took a long time to start healing and even now that a year has passed I still haven’t 100% bounced back as I still think about the situation a lot. That’s not because I still love him. It’s because the entire ordeal knocked me so drastically. It was hard to bounce back. This year has taught me a lot and it hasn’t been very kind to me. I have learned a lot of harsh lessons but I look back on them now and although I believe that I did not deserve 80% of these harsh lessons, they were perhaps something that I needed. I usually try and dodge situations and emotions but this year it was just impossible; something within me just broke. I know it’s cliché but, I didn’t understand the person I was and I didn’t like that person. I didn’t know how to be by myself and I look back now and I admit that perhaps that was what I was mostly upset about during the break up. It is hard being alone when you have been used to being with someone. It was very difficult to get moving again and to start living my life to benefit myself and nobody else. I feel like I have only recently been able to do this within the past few months and honestly it is amazing how great I feel in comparison to how I felt for the last few months of last year and for the first half of this year.

Enough of the morbid stuff…here’s a list of the things I have learned and been able to do single:

  • Go for a night out and not have anybody moaning at me for my dress/skirt being too short aka looking good.
  • Go on dates! I have started talking/seeing someone but it’s not official. I am still single but… perhaps not for long so I had to make this post now – just in case!
  • It is okay to be alone.
  • It is okay to be VERY single aka not speaking to anyone.
  • It is okay to want to be single.
  • It is okay to not have your ex in your life.
  • You don’t owe your ex shit.
  • Do not allow people to click their fingers and do not, I repeat, DO NOT go running to them…DON’T! They don’t respect you if they are leading you on.
  • You shouldn’t forgive everyone; some really do not deserve it.
  • Stand up for yourself.
  • It is okay to have bad days.
  • It is most definitely okay to stalk an ex (online obviously).
  • It’s normal to be curious to what they are up to nowadays.
  • It’s normal to feel guilty.
  • I can do whatever I want with my hair without having to care what anyone thinks.
  • It is not okay to be in a relationship where you often walk on egg shells.
  • Knowing exactly what you want in your next relationship.
  • Not to feel guilty or ashamed of your achievements.
  • Family will constantly ask you about your love life at the worst possible times.
  • You will want to punch your nan when she asks if you are seeing someone.

This of course isn’t everything I have learned as the list would be far too long. When you’re in a relationship it is easy and quite normal to get wrapped up in that person. There is no telling you that maybe things aren’t quite right and that you might not get married, move to the French countryside and have three beautiful children: Arabella, Louis and Frederick (I would call him, Freddie obviously. I don’t want a child that is born in a cape and crown all ready for his coronation!). When you get so comfortable, you can’t bear to think of the possibility that that person one day may no longer be in your life. I am not saying that you can’t be filled with bliss during a relationship. I am just saying that if things do not work out it is not the end of the world. Everything in the end will be okay. It may take a while but you will be okay. I believe that being single after being in a relationship is a good thing in terms of growth and experiencing new things. I can’t wait to see what the future brings!

How do you guys feel about being single? Leave a comment to let me know!

Liv xoxo