NHS

It has yet again been a while, I hope you are all well!

I have had the most horrendous UTI infection on and off for the past 3 weeks. On Tuesday I went to the walk in centre (again) and I was told that if the antibiotics don’t work then I will have to go to hospital as the infection would then probably just go to my kidneys. It’s not exactly the information you want to hear when you’re alone in Manchester away from home. It’s rare I get an infection but when I have in the past, it has just felt as though I am pissing razor blades and I am still able to go about my day…not with this bad boy. I literally looked 9 months pregnant from the bloating. I was unable to attend Uni as it is a bit embarrassing when you’re sat there whimpering because there’s a tiny man who is climbing out of your vagina, up to your clitoris and deciding to STAB IT! The overall genital, abdominal and back pain was just ridiculous.

I have also been in a bit of a panic as I haven’t had a proper full length period since October/November. In early January I bled for a day; I haven’t had one since. Last year, I had been going to the doctors regarding my periods and time and time again the conversation between my GP and I went like this, “You’re young…they’ll calm down soon!” “…but I got my period at 10. Surely they should be chilled out by now?” “A lot of women suffer with pain and heavy periods”. However, there was one doctor who was going to refer me to a gynaecologist after I were to have some other tests but the next doctor I saw told me that it wasn’t needed. So naturally I decided to trust the doctors and ignore it. However, I went to the doctors yesterday to check my urine and to discuss my periods as this is the longest in recent years where I have gone without having a proper period but I am still getting all of the period pain but no period.

So, there’s good news and there’s bad news…the good news is that the UTI has cleared up; the bad news is that it is only now that my doctor is concerned about my issues with my period that I now have to have swabs and scans to see what is going on; I have been told that there may be chance that I have Poly Cystic Ovary Syndrome or Endometriosis. This was first mentioned over a year ago when I went to the one helpful doctor but then as I said, I went to the other doctors who were quite dismissive. Don’t allow professionals to tell you that chronic pain is normal. It is not normal if you have to change a tampon with the highest absorbency every hour (SOMETIMES LESS) or two along with waking up in the middle of the night leaking and taking a million years to get to the bathroom because you’re doubled over due to sharp stabbing pains is NOT normal. Periods aren’t supposed to be so debilitating to the point of where you can’t move for a few days.

Let’s face it, as women we know our bodies inside out; we know when something isn’t right. Don’t do what I did! If you ignore your health it will just progressively get worse and when you finally do get some answers you may find yourself waiting a while to get real answers. The point of this post is to tell others, not to blindly believe doctors all of the time and again, to not let things get worse when it comes to your health; whether that is physical or mental it will just prolong the situation. Now I am not saying go to the doctors for absolutely everything. This is one of the many reasons why the NHS is struggling and why doctors often rush you during appointments; if you have a common cold just buy some lemsip and have a few naps please! If you take your child to the doctors because they’ve sneezed once or twice then you really do need a slap. It really does drain the system and takes away appointments from people with bigger illnesses that require medical attention. We are so lucky to have our NHS. The privilege in which we have is enormous; the vast majority of the world do not have the same access to healthcare. So please use our system accordingly but please do not take the piss! That’s pretty much all I have to say.

Anyone else suffer from horrendous periods?

Liv xoxo

Positivity

Hello and Happy New Year! Yes, I know that it’s February and it is now socially unacceptable to be wishing people a HNY but this is my first blog post of 2019, so I am making it acceptable on this occasion. So anyway to the point, this will be a short one. So recently I have realised just how much of a negative outlook I have on situations and just on life in general. Those of you who know me personally are probably chuckling in disbelief at the fact that I have only just realised this huge personality trait of mine. Many people around me often find this trait comical as it is so ridiculous but at times draining, especially for my friends who are optimists. I am so sorry, thank you for putting up with me, ha! I REALLY can’t help it! I am what you call a true pessimist, I ALWAYS assume the worst. I would say that 90% of the time I don’t even realise that I am being so negative and sometimes, down-right delusional with my doom and gloom predictions for situations that have a very slim chance of happening. This is a flaw in which I have unfortunately inherited from my father; in contrast to my mother who will consistently believe that her glass is half full rather than half empty…Penelope, your glass is half empty and you cannot tell me any different! Lance agrees.

Now of course I haven’t been completely oblivious to my pessimistic ways, that would be quite a hard thing to miss even for me! I have always known that I am a pessimist but I would always argue that pessimism was just realism. It is not. According to Lindsey Lazarte, “Attitude and perspective is everything. If you’re a pessimist, then you have negative thoughts that won’t go away no matter what the odds are. If you’re a realist, you are just coming to terms and accepting a situation rather than feeling like it was yours or someone else’s fault.” [https://www.bolde.com/fine-line-between-realism-pessimism/]. My head is just filled with negativity which takes forever to subside; it is almost impossible for me to think rationally. I just think, woe is me and I place a lot of blame upon myself. Now I know that I am contradicting the quote above, If you’re a realist, you are just coming to terms and accepting a situation – I currently sound like a realist because I am accepting my flaws right? Wrong. In this very post I am being as fake as Kim Kardashian’s arse. I am actively trying to be rid of my pessimistic ways; I am faking it until I make it. My palms are sweating and my eye is twitching.

So, I have pretty much abandoned all of my resolutions for 2019, however, I do want to at least attempt to become more positive in my way of thinking. I have no idea how to conquer my quest (might have to go to a hypnotist at this rate) but I am going to have a good go at being more optimistic. I guess I should start off with baby steps such as, I WILL make it to the bus stop on time, even though I am at the other end of a very long street and I can see the bus in the distance, speeding towards the stop whilst I attempt to cross a very busy road at rush-hour whilst trying not to get killed. I WILL do better than initially expected on that assignment where I was under the word count. I WILL one day go a whole month without a drop of alcohol. Not to backtrack or anything but, I think I might be pushing it now.

Does anyone else have this ghastly pessimistic personality also? If so please drop a comment below, it would make me feeling much better about myself.

All the best,

Liv xoxo