Hello and Happy New Year! Yes, I know that it’s February and it is now socially unacceptable to be wishing people a HNY but this is my first blog post of 2019, so I am making it acceptable on this occasion. So anyway to the point, this will be a short one. So recently I have realised just how much of a negative outlook I have on situations and just on life in general. Those of you who know me personally are probably chuckling in disbelief at the fact that I have only just realised this huge personality trait of mine. Many people around me often find this trait comical as it is so ridiculous but at times draining, especially for my friends who are optimists. I am so sorry, thank you for putting up with me, ha! I REALLY can’t help it! I am what you call a true pessimist, I ALWAYS assume the worst. I would say that 90% of the time I don’t even realise that I am being so negative and sometimes, down-right delusional with my doom and gloom predictions for situations that have a very slim chance of happening. This is a flaw in which I have unfortunately inherited from my father; in contrast to my mother who will consistently believe that her glass is half full rather than half empty…Penelope, your glass is half empty and you cannot tell me any different! Lance agrees.
Now of course I haven’t been completely oblivious to my pessimistic ways, that would be quite a hard thing to miss even for me! I have always known that I am a pessimist but I would always argue that pessimism was just realism. It is not. According to Lindsey Lazarte, “Attitude and perspective is everything. If you’re a pessimist, then you have negative thoughts that won’t go away no matter what the odds are. If you’re a realist, you are just coming to terms and accepting a situation rather than feeling like it was yours or someone else’s fault.” [https://www.bolde.com/fine-line-between-realism-pessimism/]. My head is just filled with negativity which takes forever to subside; it is almost impossible for me to think rationally. I just think, woe is me and I place a lot of blame upon myself. Now I know that I am contradicting the quote above, If you’re a realist, you are just coming to terms and accepting a situation – I currently sound like a realist because I am accepting my flaws right? Wrong. In this very post I am being as fake as Kim Kardashian’s arse. I am actively trying to be rid of my pessimistic ways; I am faking it until I make it. My palms are sweating and my eye is twitching.
So, I have pretty much abandoned all of my resolutions for 2019, however, I do want to at least attempt to become more positive in my way of thinking. I have no idea how to conquer my quest (might have to go to a hypnotist at this rate) but I am going to have a good go at being more optimistic. I guess I should start off with baby steps such as, I WILL make it to the bus stop on time, even though I am at the other end of a very long street and I can see the bus in the distance, speeding towards the stop whilst I attempt to cross a very busy road at rush-hour whilst trying not to get killed. I WILL do better than initially expected on that assignment where I was under the word count. I WILL one day go a whole month without a drop of alcohol. Not to backtrack or anything but, I think I might be pushing it now.
Does anyone else have this ghastly pessimistic personality also? If so please drop a comment below, it would make me feeling much better about myself.
All the best,